If I may, I’d like to talk about what it means to be Thankful in Marriage, and intentionally shifting the tide in that relationship, especially at this time of year.
Let me start off with a Scripture I have posted here at my desk from Philippians 2:14 and it says, “Do everything without complaining and arguing.” You may be curious why am I starting with that? Because, The Holy Spirit has revealed to me, that I am the queen of complainers…and that’s the opposite of being thankful. If you want to know all the things my husband Frank does wrong, I have that list. I’ve stored up a jug full of resentfulness, anger, and being grumpy towards him as I focused on his shortcomings. Sadly, it’s my first, knee-jerk reaction. But God showed me that I needed to roll up my sleeves and work on changing it. Is He speaking to you too?
You see Frank is all about pleasing me. It’s how he’s wired. As I indulge my negative thinking, I give him the impression that I’m difficult to please, which negatively impacts our intimacy with one another. When I’m complaining, I make him feel unappreciated, and he may in time stop trying. Then when I see him appear not wanting to help or please me, we go into this negative loop where both of us feel unappreciated and unfulfilled. Do you know what I mean? It’s pretty awful!
How do I break this cycle? The best way to put an end to it (or to never even start for those just starting a relationship) is to begin to Express Gratitude. Colossians 3:14-15 says, “Above all, clothe yourself with love, which binds us together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.” Isn’t Scripture convicting!
How To Start With Gratitude and Experience Immediate Changes in your Relationship
Make a list of all the things you’re grateful for about your husband each day
for the next week.
Ask yourself does he have a job? Is he a good dad? Does he make you laugh?
Share with your husband three things you appreciate about him each day.
Then, write a letter of gratitude to your husband. Include the following:
What did he do? Why did it matter to you? What effort did he make?
Why is it important to express your gratitude? What do you want him
You may even read it out loud to him. Wow!